Dating for introverts

Being an introvert who used to date a lot, it took a while for me to work out what I was comfortable with. I never knew it was because I was actually introverted, but recently I've become aware from my internet research that there are a lot of introverts who could do with some tips on how to make dating work for them.

Here's a few things that I've found and learnt for myself, that might just help you with your first date/s.

1. Make the first meeting short, preferably a coffee in a cafe. This allows you to feel comfortable that you can leave after a short time if you want to, because you're in a neutral location for a short time.
   
   
2. Suggest a specific start time for you to meet, and tell them that you've only got, say, half an hour. This gives them the impression that you're busy and they can feel privileged that you're fitting them in, but it's especially important for you to set a limit for your time, so that you don't overextend yourself.
   
   
3. Use your excellent observational skills to gain information about the person, and about how comfortable you might feel if you see them again.
   
   
4. Reveal only as much information as they do, within reason.
   
   
5. Take a trip to the bathroom if you start feeling anxious or overexcited. Calm yourself down again.
   
   
6. Don't try to be extroverted! There's simply no point trying to be something that you're not. If they start to like you, they're only liking who you're pretending to be, rather than who you really are. Be yourself, so that there's honesty at all times, and give them the chance to like you for who you actually are.
   
   
7. Don't use alcohol or drugs to loosen you up. If you're not ready for the first date, then reschedule it until you are. It might also be that the person you're trying to meet isn't actually someone you want to meet, and your subconscious is telling you not to waste your time. Be aware of your feelings.
   
   
8. If you're getting irritable during the date, think about why. Pay attention to any uncomfortable feelings you might have, like anger, fear or even boredom. Try to work out what it is about the person that's making you feel this way. Read the signs.
   
   
9. Don't push yourself to have physical contact, like kissing. Make sure it's only when you feel comfortable, and don't give in to pushy dates! You're there to enjoy yourself, not for them to enjoy themselves at your expense.

Remember that you're the one in control, even if they're the super-confident extrovert. You can make the choices about what's good for you, like how long you want to stay, where you want to meet, what you want to talk about, and when you want to leave.

Be yourself, and enjoy yourself.