9 tips on writing better blog posts

If you're serious about writing a blog, and you want to attract more people to contribute with comments and be regular visitors, then you're going to want to know how to write better, and how to inspire people to write comments. Read this article if you want to learn more tips on how to write better blog posts.

1. The bait

The bait is your title. It needs to be attractive, to inspire the reader to find out more. Make sure it's informative about the content, but also very short.

The title is what people are going to see in search engine listings, so make sure it includes those key words that are relevent to the content.

2. The hook

Once you've got the reader to take the bait, you need to have a good hook. Your hook is going to be the first paragraph of your post. Remember that most people will find your site via a search engine, so they're going to quickly see if it has the content they're looking for. If it doesn't, they're going to go look somewhere else. If you can grab them right there with the hook, you'll keep them reading.

Of course, the hook needs to be provocative and controversial. It has to grab the reader's attention and make a point, all in one go. If they don't read anything more of your post, that first paragraph is the only chance you've got to tell them what your thoughts and opinions are.

3. The reward

If the reader has been hooked by your first paragraph then they're going to want to know why you've written what you have. Giving them the 'why' is your way of rewarding them for staying.

Use a couple of paragraphs to to tell them why you made the statements in the hook. Keep it short and informative, no more than two paragraphs. Include humour if you can. People love to laugh, and if you can help them do that, they'll be encouraged to stay and keep reading. Since you've managed to keep them past the first paragraph, you don't want to lose them now!

4. The inspiration

For people to be inspired to leave their own comments, there often needs to be something controversial for them to comment on. Sure, you can write the posts that don't offend anyone, or that inspire people to be or feel better, but if you really want to get people discussing your posts, you need to make them more controversial.

Some of the controversial things you can write about include: politics (war on terror, oil, elections), abortion (right-to-life issues), human rights, religion, political correctness (racism, freedom of speech, welfare), etc etc. Anything that can inflame the emotions are good topics to write about.

5. Make your point

If you can keep your post about a single point rather than several points, then you're going to make it more attractive for people to stay and read. The less for them to read, the better.

If you really want to make a number of points, then write a different post for each point you want to make.

6. The KISS principle - 'Keep it simple, stupid!'

The more detail you put into expressing your thoughts, the more people are going to swtich off. They just want it to be short and easy to read. They want to know your thoughts using as few words as possible. Keep the complexities of your thoughts to yourself.

Before you press that publish button, read your post as if you're a random reader who's completely clueless about whatever it is you're talking about. Be honest with yourselff and ask yourself if the reader is likely to hang around and keep reading. If not, then keep editing it.

If a sentence can afford to have words removed and still keep the same meaning, then do so. When the meaning is lost, put back the word you last removed and leave it at that.

7. Let the reader form the conclusions

Don't just insult someone or something. Provide all the reasons why you don't like them, and let the reader insult them for you!

If the reader is given information with which to form their own opinion, that will mean more to them than just reading what your opinion is.

8. Be passionate

If you're not passionate about something, then don't write it. If you don't have the belief in your own opinion, then why should the reader listen to you?

When you write what you're passionate about, that's going to be obvious to your readers, and they're going to feel it. Writing with passion will inspire your readers to feel almost as passionate about it as you!

9. Have a moral to the story

If the reader has gotten to the end, they want there to be a point to it, so they can justify the time spent reading it. Give them a moral, a one-line statement that they can take away with them which will summarise the post and stick in their memory.

For example, the moral to this post could be:

Get serious with your writing, and you'll get a serious increase in the readers who respond to what you write!


(Thanks to Not PC and his article (Polemic writing: Use a sniper's rifle, not a shotgun) for the inspiration.)

Attract and keep visitors to your blog

If you want to keep the attention of your visitors, you'll need to start thinking about just how you're going to grab their attention before you even start thinking about how you're going to keep it.

Create the content the audience wants

Obviously you want to write about something that interests you, otherwise there's really no point in writing. But you also want to make sure you're writing about something that's interesting to others, or you're not even going to get yourself an audience!

There's something called the Keyword Selector Tool, which you can use to find out how people are using keywords. If you're writing about religion, for example, then you'd enter the word 'religion', and it will bring up a list of searches done during the previous month that include that word. You can do this for any keyword or series of words.

When you can see how people are using keywords in their searches, you can then start to create content that takes advantage of the search terms that people are using. For example, "religion and spirituality" is a popular search term, so if you throw in a post that includes the words that people are searching for, then people are going to find your content when they do a search for it.

Solve their problems

Most people aren't searching for information without reason. Whatever they're searching for is usually to answer a question or solve a problem they have. If they find your site, they're going to want you to give them the answers they're looking for.

If you're not providing them with those answers, then they're going to go find someone else who will.

Obviously a personal blog isn't necessarily going to do help others solve their problems, but then you're probably not looking for a large audience either. It's only if you want a much larger audience that you need to make sure you're providing information that they're looking for, that will help them with their problems.

Write for yourself

You obviously need to make sure that you're thinking of your readers when you write, but the motivation for writing has to come from yourself. Ultimately, everything you write has to be for you, no one else.

Writing takes a lot of time and effort, and if you're not putting in the time and effort, you should be finding something else to do with your time instead.

It's easy to write, but it's not easy to write well.

Combine quality with consistency.

I can't remember where I found that statement, but it's excellent advice. In order to be good at what you do, you have to do it all the time. As you write, make sure you edit it; make it better than what it is, and improve upon it all the time. Commit yourself to write quality material, and be consistent with it. But do it for yourself. Do it because you love it.

Being yourself

Following the above advice will help you become clear about who you're writing for and why you're writing. But you can't lose sight of the fact that it's you who's doing the writing.

Even though your audience is there to read the information you provide, they would also love to see your personality and your unique perceptions shining through.

It's you and the personality that you present that will keep them coming back. Even if the personality is something that's made up entirely for your writing, keep it consistent. Make it as part of the theme of your blog. Your unique style will keep them coming back.

Understanding your weaknesses

If you find that you're unable to write something down, it's often because there are gaps in your knowledge about the topic you want to write about.

Do some research to gain more knowledge, so that you can speak with sincerity and authority. Those are two very important aspects of your writing.

"We teach mostly what we need to learn."

As you teaching people with your writings, you're learning as well. The more you write about a particular topic, the more you have to understand it. The more you research it, the more you become an expert on it.

You can't teach someone without learning it first, so writing for your blog is helping you learn and grow as well.

You get something from it, and so do the readers. Everyone wins.

Get people to comment

You're going to get a lot of visitors to your site. Most of them are looking for what you are providing, but some of them are going to know more about what you're writing than you do. There's nothing wrong with that, and the more you can get them to share their own knowledge, the better it is for you and for your website.

If you end your posts with requests for feedback, or if you ask questions to inspire debate or to provide you with more information, you're going to get visitors responding. A responsive bunch of visitors is going to make your site look more active and inspire even more people to involve themselves in conversations.

Make sure you reply to everyone's comments and feedback, even if it's to thank them for taking the time to say hello. Your own response to their comment helps them feel that you care about what they say. Make sure you do care! It also gives you the opportunity to answer any questions they might have, or ask your own questions of them.

Check your stats

No matter which service you use to provide statistics about your site, they're all going to show you where your visitors come from, what your most popular pages are, what people are using in their search terms that bring them to your blog, and how many are returning visitors.

All of it is important. Knowing where your visitors came from helps you to see who might be linking to you, and you can check the referrer out as well. You might even link back to them and start networking. Knowing what people are searching for that brought them to you helps you create more content based on popular searches. And, of course, knowing what your popular pages are helps you to create even more such popular pages.

Your stats have a wealth of information for you. Make sure you understand how to take advantage of it.

Be flexible in your approach

As you understand more about what your audience wants and how you can deliver it to them, the tone of your site is going to slowly change. You might have started your blog with the theme of digital cameras, and you write about anything and everything to do with digital cameras. However, over time, you learn that your audience is more interested in how to take photos for various events or conditions, and so you decide to start doing more 'how to' posts.

Being flexible allows you to adjust the content of your blog so you can take advantage of what your audience is looking for. If you have no flexibility in your writing and in your approach to blogging, then you're not going to reach your potential, and you're going to feel like you're wasting your time.

If you aren't flexible and don't learn to adjust, then you are wasting your time!

Listen to the feedback of your visitors so that you can understand what they're looking for. As long as it doesn't take you away from your own passions, give it to them!

Without listening, learning and changing, you're not going to reach your goals of attracting and keeping more and more visitors.


If you have any of your own suggestions to attract and keep visitors, please feel free to share them with us.

Creating your reality without fear

What holds most of us back from achieving our goals and dreams is fear. Fear of the unknown, of failure, of rejection, and even of success itself, because of a fear of the responsibilities that success would bring. We find all manner of fears to justify not moving forward on our goals.

These fears prevent us from using the Law of Attraction to attract what we want. Even though we might do our very best to manifest the things that we really want, we never get them. Why not? Because of our fears.

Here's some tips to help you recognise your fears and then get them out of the way, so that they can stop interfering with what you really want.

Understanding the whole package

First, imagine that what you want to manifest is already in your life. Instead of thinking about it happening in the future, imagine that you're currently living it. Take a few minutes to imagine it and make it as real as possible.

If your intention is to manifest a nice house, then imagine living in it, right now. How does it feel? What are you doing in your new house? What are people saying to you now that you've got your new house? Take a few minutes to make this as real as possible. Imagine the smells, the colours, and the feelings.

Now consider the side effects of having what you've manifested. How will it affect your health, finances, relationships, career and spiritual practices? How do others treat you now that you have it? In what ways does having it change you or those around you? Everything that changes causes changes around it, so try to imagine how the manifesting of your desires causes change around you and within you.

Don't make it idealistic, as that defeats the purpose of this exercise. Instead, imagine the most realistic scenarios you possibly can. Include what you know of the people around you, your health, career, finances, etc. How will the manifestation of your desires impact upon them? Everything we want to manifest carries with it a lot of side effects, which we often fail to take into account.

If you spend at least 10 minutes doing this exercise, you'll quickly understand what else may result from the manifestation of your desires. If the side effects of your manifested desires are unrealistic, then your intentions will fail, because deep down you know they're not going to happen.

To have our intentions manifest, we need to understand and accept everything about them.

Discovering the fears that sabotage our intentions

When you start considering the side effects of your intentions, you'll notice some resistance. Some parts of what you visualise will seem fantastic, while others will be less than desirable. As an example, if your intention is to manifest that new house of your dreams even though you know that your spouse hates the kind of house you want, then you're going to feel some resistance about manifesting it. You want the house, but not the side effects.

Anything undesirable that comes up for you is a pointer to your fears. That's what you need to look at.

What holds you back from achieving your intentions are those fears. Using the example of a spouse that won't like your dream house, we can see that it's the fear of how you think they might react that holds you back. Even though you want this house with all your heart, and you visualise everything about it, in the back of your mind might be the fear that your spouse is just going to hate it.

It's the fear of this happening that prevents you from achieving your desires. Your fears and desires both exist in your consciousness, and therefore there's an internal conflict that results in the failure of your desires to manifest in your life.

As you explore the possible side effects of your manifested desires, make sure you note down those side effects that you resist, or which cause negative feelings in you. Anything that comes up as a possible negative aspect of your manifested desire should be written down in a list. Write it down! This is so you have something substantial that you can work with over time, and which you won't forget.

It only needs one fear to keep your intentions from manifesting. Understanding what your fears are is an important step in moving past them.

Learning acceptance

In order to manifest our desires we need to eliminate the fears that conflict with the intentions. When the fears are gone, the intentions will have nothing stopping them from manifesting into your life. If you don't address the fears, however, then it doesn't matter how much visualisation you do or strength of will you have, your desires are not going to manifest.

One of the simplest ways of addressing your fears is to accept your fears. Turn the fears into a consequence and accept them as part of your life. For example, if you accept that your spouse isn't going to like the house of your dreams, but at least it's much better than what you have now, then you've turned the fear into a consequence. The consequence of you living in your dream house is that it will be better than what you're in now.

A fear is an outcome you resist, while a consequence is an outcome you accept.

When you fear some of the side effects of a desire, then you are effectively resisting the desire. There is a subconscious intention for the desire NOT to manifest, which outweighs the conscious desire for it TO manifest. When you turn the fear into an acceptance, then that allow your desires to manifest.

If you aren't ready to accept those consequences, then you aren't ready to manifest those desires.

Work on each of your fears one by one, by acknowledging them as fears and then accepting them as consequences. They might not be consequences that actually occur, but if you accept them instead of resisting them, then you can create positive beliefs that will replace the fear. This means that you take the same consequence and find a way to interpret it as positive instead of negative.

The process of doing this does require a lot of very deep self-analysis, which might take some time. Don't expect overnight results. However, in order to move past those fears which are holding you back from achieving your desires, you do need to engage in these exercises.

Manifest your desires by dealing with your fears. You'll never regret it.

Thanks to Steve Pavlina.

Dating for introverts

Being an introvert who used to date a lot, it took a while for me to work out what I was comfortable with. I never knew it was because I was actually introverted, but recently I've become aware from my internet research that there are a lot of introverts who could do with some tips on how to make dating work for them.

Here's a few things that I've found and learnt for myself, that might just help you with your first date/s.

1. Make the first meeting short, preferably a coffee in a cafe. This allows you to feel comfortable that you can leave after a short time if you want to, because you're in a neutral location for a short time.
   
   
2. Suggest a specific start time for you to meet, and tell them that you've only got, say, half an hour. This gives them the impression that you're busy and they can feel privileged that you're fitting them in, but it's especially important for you to set a limit for your time, so that you don't overextend yourself.
   
   
3. Use your excellent observational skills to gain information about the person, and about how comfortable you might feel if you see them again.
   
   
4. Reveal only as much information as they do, within reason.
   
   
5. Take a trip to the bathroom if you start feeling anxious or overexcited. Calm yourself down again.
   
   
6. Don't try to be extroverted! There's simply no point trying to be something that you're not. If they start to like you, they're only liking who you're pretending to be, rather than who you really are. Be yourself, so that there's honesty at all times, and give them the chance to like you for who you actually are.
   
   
7. Don't use alcohol or drugs to loosen you up. If you're not ready for the first date, then reschedule it until you are. It might also be that the person you're trying to meet isn't actually someone you want to meet, and your subconscious is telling you not to waste your time. Be aware of your feelings.
   
   
8. If you're getting irritable during the date, think about why. Pay attention to any uncomfortable feelings you might have, like anger, fear or even boredom. Try to work out what it is about the person that's making you feel this way. Read the signs.
   
   
9. Don't push yourself to have physical contact, like kissing. Make sure it's only when you feel comfortable, and don't give in to pushy dates! You're there to enjoy yourself, not for them to enjoy themselves at your expense.

Remember that you're the one in control, even if they're the super-confident extrovert. You can make the choices about what's good for you, like how long you want to stay, where you want to meet, what you want to talk about, and when you want to leave.

Be yourself, and enjoy yourself.

The secret to you

The Secret is a fantastic documentary about how the Law of Attraction works, and how you can make it work for you. Here's an excerpt about it from my old blog:

The Law of Attraction is a universal law, which you might also know as 'like attracts like'. Whatever is on your mind is what becomes a reality in your life. As was said in the show, "Thoughts... become... things..." The trick is to think of things you want, instead of the things you don't want.

Most people, however, focus on those things they don't want. You know what I'm talking about. They want more money to get out of debt, 'cause all they can think of is the debt they're in. They want a new car, because all they can think about is how horrible their current car is. They want a new job, because they hate their current job.

But the more they FEEL the things they don't want, the more they KEEP what they don't want. And they get more of it!

Why is that?

It's because the universe is giving you those things you are passionate about. Even the things you don't like create passion in you, and the more energy you put into the things you don't want, the more the universe will give it to you. It thinks that the more passionate you are about something, the more you want it.

When you are passionate about those things you want, rather than those things you don't want, and when you can FEEL them, that's when the universe will give it to you.

Now you can download The Secret To You, a visualisation tool that will help you "transform your life into happiness, prosperity, health, love and joy". It's only 16.8 Mb big, and when you play it, make sure you maximise the window size. You'll need the latest version of Quicktime.

How to stand out from other blogs

Lorelle wrote an article called Truths and Consequences of Blogs That Stand Out, which I'll use as the basis of this article (thanks Lorelle!)

If you want your blog to stand out from the rest of them, then there's a few things you need to take into account as you aim for that goal.

Looks count

Everything is about looks. We like to look pretty to make ourselves more attractive, and we are attracted to people and things that appeal to us. So the first thing that we need to take notice of with our blog is how it looks.

It has to be easy to read, without being too cluttered. If it's too 'busy' then people are going to get lost trying to find something interesting. It the design interferes with the ability to read it, people are going to move on.

Think about books. What makes them attractive? For a start, they're easy to read. Dark text on white background, and fonts that are easy for the eye to see. If there's any pictures, they don't interfere with the text and there's a decent amount of white space between the picture and text.
Navigation is important too. You have a blog that you want people to be able to get to other content that you think is important. How are they going to do that if you have no navigation features? Categorisation works wonders, helping your visitors see what kinds of content you have available, and allowing them to browse through your site according to the categories that they're interested in. Important Pages need to be stand out as well, and Popular Posts inspire visitors to hang out a bit longer and read what others find interesting.

Remember also that the website design should reflect the content. If you have content on mountain climbing, then a design that includes mountain views would be applicable. A photo blog would include photos in the design. General musings about life might have a design that reflects the theme of your life, or of how you want to present it.

Looks count, but they need to be appropriate to the content of the blog, otherwise people just aren't going to take it seriously.

Content is King

It doesn't matter how good your site looks, if you don't have good content, visitors aren't going to hang around for long.

Good content means good writing, spelling and grammar. However, that's still not important if what you write about or how you write it grabs the visitor's attention and holds it. Providing good quality information or entertainment are two very good reasons visitors will stay, and they might forgive a few spelling errors if the content is worth it.

If the content gives the visitor the information they're looking for, meets their interests, or challenges their thinking and motivates them, then they're likely to spend time there. If it's really good then they'll return time and again to find out what new content you've added.

The best quality blogs are those that focus their content on a particular topic or theme, rather than putting lots of different topics together on the same blog. Being a 'specialist' gains traffic and reputation, while talking about anything and everything doesn't help those visitors stay focused. If you're not focused on a particular topic, then your visitors aren't going to stay focused on you.

It's about traffic

A lot of people think that the more traffic you have, the better your blog is. Not true. Traffic is only important to the blog owner, as hardly any of the visitors to your blog are going to be aware of, or even care about, how much traffic you're getting. What makes your blog popular is not going to be the traffic, but the content and how people find the content.

Search engines, directories, links on other blog's blogrolls, and even placing comments on their blog. They all help bring you traffic. What's important though, is not how many links you have, but good your content is.

Your reputation will be enhanced by people finding your blog and then writing about it or linking to it. That increases traffic, but that's only because they think your blog is worth other people reading it. And that comes from having a good look and good content.

It's about convenience

Many websites offer incentives to sign up to their newsletters, or they don't have anything like that at all. Instead, you have to bookmark the site in your browser and come back to it every now and again to see if they've updated the content. These are static sites and they don't add a lot to the convenience of the visitor.

Non-static sites like blogs allow visitors to subscribe to RSS feeds, which delivers your content to them as soon as you publish it. Very convenient!

RSS Feeds allow visitors to automatically subscribe to your blog so that any new content you place there is sent to them, without them having to remember to come and visit it. On some blogs you can even subscribe to the feeds of various categories, so that the only content received is of those categories that you're interested in. Allowing this option for visitors to your blog will only increase the convenience of it for them.

Comments are another convenient feature of blogs, allowing visitors to agree or disagree with your content, or even to add or correct information that might be of use to you. Not only do comments increase the convenience for visitors to engage in interesting conversations about your content, but the convenience allows you to update your own content based on what you might learn, as well as to inspire your visitors to hang around longer because of the conversations they have with you.

Pings and trackbacks allow search engines and directories to be notified when you've updated your blog, allowing users of those sites to visit your blog whenever you update it. Trackback comments allows you and your visitors to see what others are writing about your content.

Your outstanding blog checklist

Again, from Lorelle's article, we have this checklist. Check your blog against it, and see if it meets the standard of an outstanding blog. Use what you learn to make any changes you might want, to help you achieve 'outstanding blog'.

1. Is it readable?
2. Is it easy to read?
3. Is it easy to navigate, leading the reader to other content from every page?
4. Does it offer content categories, helping direct readers to related subjects on your site or blog?
5. Does the design match the content?
6. Is the content consistent with a specific topic, theme, or subject?
7. Does the content showcase you as an expert, hobbyist, or vague curiosity seeker?
8. Is the content well written, spell and grammar checked, and encourage readers to read?
9. Does your blog’s design and content give people a reason to return?
10. How convenient is your site or blog to use?
11. Does it offer feeds?
12. Does it offer comments?
13. Does it offer trackbacks?

How to host your own community

A List Apart has this great article on how to host your own community. Following that link will give you more information about the below:

• Are you really ready to start a new community?
• Laying groundwork
• Get ready and send invitations
• It’s party time
• Be ready to improvise
• Keep your partygoers from leaving
• Don’t let things get out of hand
• Dealing with party crashers
• Enjoy your own party

I've been working with forums for quite a while now, and most of the suggestions are things I already have learnt to do from experience. None of my forums have gotten over 50 members though, so they've never been 'great forums'. But still, I've enjoyed doing them over the years.

If you have a forum of your own, or if you want to start your own community, I hope you'll get some value from the above information.

Use the Law of Attraction to find love

Have you ever noticed that when you want something, you start to see it wherever you look? If you want a particular new car, for example, you start seeing it more often. Until you started desiring it, you never even noticed it! This is the law of attraction: what we desire, we attract to ourselves.

Our thoughts create our reality, and the more we think of something, the more it becomes real in our lives.

The thing about the law of attraction is that it attracts to you exactly what you have on your mind. The problem is that most people have the wrong things on their mind. When you spend a great deal of your energy thinking about what you don't want, then the universe will respond by giving you exactly what you don't want. It thinks that if it's on your mind, then you actually want it! (By 'universe', I also mean God, Buddha, Allah... whatever is your ultimate higher power.)

You have to look at what you're actually saying in your head.

• "I don't deserve someone fantastic..."
• "No man's ever going to want me...."
• "I'm so ugly I'm just going to disgust any woman who looks at me..."
• "I'm not worth having a handsome man with me..."
• "I'm too shy...."

Change what you say!

• "I deserve someone fantastic..."
• "Every woman is going to want me..."
• "I'm so attractive, men are just going to throw themselves at me..."
• "I'm worth having a beautiful man with me..."
• "I'm super confident!"

When you start turning it around in your head, it gets turned around in your life.

You might not believe it, but if you start getting yourself into the mindset of saying those things to yourself on a daily basis, they are going to have an effect on you. You're going to start believing SOME of them, at least, and that's a great start.

The reason we don't get what we want from our life and relationships is because we're attracting the wrong things. We need to truly understand that to get what we want, we need to ask for what we want. We need to visualise what we want.

When all we ask for and all we see are the things we don't want, then that's all we'll continue seeing in our life.

Think of the car analogy. You'll see more of the car that you want when you really desire it. However, if you absolutely loathe a particular car, you're going to see that more often too!

What is in your mind and receives energy and emotion from you, is what's going to be in your life.

So to find love you really need to focus on the kind of person that you want to love and be loved by. You need to see them in your mind with you and you need to see them happy about being with you. You need to feel the emotions of what it would be like to be with the partner of your dreams.

It's important to understand what physical attributes, behaviours, values, beliefs and interests are important to you. Understanding them will allow you to focus on what you want in a relationship with someone, instead of what you don't want.

Many people go from one failed relationship to another without really thinking about why their relationships keep failing. Instead of looking at themselves and what they're attracting by what's on their mind, they blame other people, their past or the situations they get into.

But really, the reason the relationships keep failing is because people are always thinking about what they don't want, and so they end up creating it!

What they should be doing is thinking about what they DO want. Develop a very clear idea of what they want in a relationship, and they will start to get it.

There's a saying - 'there's no such thing as a perfect relationship'. Well, there is a perfect relationship, but it won't happen by searching for what you don't want. It'll only come by understanding what you DO want, and holding that in your mind.

An exercise in attracting the perfect relationship

On a piece of paper write down everything you want in your perfect relationship. What is he or she like? How do they talk, smell, look? What will you be doing together? How do you feel when you're around them?

You need to really get into this and write down every single detail. Let your imagination run wild. Refine it as necessary, but make sure it's not unrealistic. Keep it real, but keep it 'perfect'. Take as long as you need, as it's the key to your ultimate success.

Most people never write down what they want, and yet it's the single most important step to use the law of attraction in finding the perfect partner and perfect relationship.

You can also use this with everything that you want. Writing it down in great detail dramatically increases your chances of getting it. But make sure you go into every little detail about it, whatever it is.

And then, you need to do one more thing. Make sure you don't doubt yourself. Assume that there's nothing stopping you from getting what you really want. Not money, or looks, or time, or anything else.

You can have anything that you want. Just imagine...

By being extremely clear in your mind about what you want, you are helping the universe give it to you. Define it exactly, and you'll get it.

Here's another analogy for you, to help you understand how it works:

Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a hamburger. The waiter goes off with your order. Then you change your mind, and you change the order to a steak. They go to make it. Before the steak arrives, however, you change your mind again and order a salad. At this point, most waiters are likely to tell you to go make it yourself!

The universe, of course, won't tell you to go make it yourself, but you can probably see how difficult it would be for the universe to give you what you want if you don't even know what you want!

Going back to that exercise... make sure you write it down. Take the time to do it, it's very important!

Now that you're clear about what you really desire in a partner, take that bit of paper and fold it up. Carry it around with you for at least a week, in your pocket, purse, wallet or even in your underwear. It doesn't matter, as long as it's always with you. Every time you remember it, take it out and read it, and enjoy the feelings in your mind of what it would be like to be with this partner of your dreams.

Feel it!

And then make sure you do the following...

During this week that you carry it around with you, make sure you listen to your inner voice or your instincts. If it tells you to stop at the supermarket on the way home when you normally go to the corner store, then do it! You just might meet your perfect partner there.

What you've done is 'placed your order' with the universe, and now you need to make sure you watch out for the signs to tell you that your order is ready.

That's all there is to it. Remember, once you use this to get your perfect partner, use it for anything else that you want. The car, house, job, boat, holiday.... anything at all! Write it down, detail it in minute detail, and then carry it around with you.

Your imagination determines your life. Use it to create the life of your dreams.

Jealousy

What is jealousy?

Jealousy is an emotion based on insecurity, relating to the belief that a relationship isn't stable. This leads to fears of losing someone that's precious to you, or that she'll find someone better than you, and so on.

Degrees of jealousy

Cute
It's perfectly normal to have reservations about your girlfriend going to a strip bar with friends, or not enjoying how much they drool over some guy in a magazine. That kind of jealousy is harmless and normal.

Healthy
Expressing concern about your girlfriend going out with a bunch of guys is often just looking out for her wellbeing. She might even be insulted if you don't say anything. If you see her flirt with another guy it's quite ok to feel jealous and tell her it's inappropriate.

Obsessive
When aggression or violence become part of the jealousy, there's a big problem. The person who is obsessively jealous has very little tolerance, and any look at another man or woman is enough to set them off. They demand to know where he or she is at all times, or they won't let their partner go anywhere without them. Just the mention of another man or woman's name sends them off the deep end.

Sources of jealousy

Jealous behavior can come from past experience with partners who have cheated on them. And if you've had more than one partner cheat on you, it can cause you to be more possessive and controlling, to try and make sure they have no opportunity to cheat on you again.

There's also the possibility that it's you who has cheated on your partner, and because you can't even trust yourself, you might place the same feelings on them, believing they could cheat on you too, simply because you cheated on them. Your guilt tries to make sure they don't have the opportunity to do to you what you did to them.

However, most jealousy comes from a low self esteem and lack of confidence. You might feel you're not good enough for them, and so any interaction by them with someone of the opposite sex makes you feel that they could find someone better than you. Most guys or women might be better looking than you, and you feel threatened by that.

If you watch her interact with other guys, you might be worried that they'll 'steal' her from you. If you've been with him for only a short time, you might feel threatened by the close bond he has with his female friends, who he's known for much longer than you.

Jealousy is dangerous

Jealousy is quite bad for relationships because it destroys a very important component that holds it together - trust. To tell her she can't have lunch with a co-worker is the same as telling her you don't trust her. If you restrict them too much, they're going to wonder why they're with you. No one wants to be controlled or 'imprisoned'.

It also leads to more arguments and reduces any quality time you might have together. All you end up doing is focusing on each other's negatives.

On top of all that, you spend most of your time worrying about what they might be doing when you're not with them. When all you're thinking about is how they could be cheating on you, then that's all that becomes real for you. You start expecting them to cheat on you.

You need to control yourself

Here's a few ways to learn how to overcome your jealousy - before you lose control and do something you'll regret:

1. Learn from past experiences
   Look at how past relationships - and even your current relationship - has been affected by your behaviour. You might realise that your tantrums are the cause of the troubles, and that they actually haven't done anything wrong. Understand that getting upset or angry at them won't help the situation.
   
   
2. Deal with reality
   When you realise that it's your tantrums which have been the problem, you realise that it's all based on what you perceive to be happening, and what you fear is happening. You don't need to let your imagination dictate what kind of person she is. Treat her according to what she does, and not according to what goes on in your mind.
   
   
3. Respect yourself
   You have to understand she chose to be with you for a reason. There's no need for her to be tempted to go elsewhere - unless your actions start to drive her away. You need to avoid that by understanding that you deserve her, and she deserves you.
   
   
4. Get someone else's opinion
   Ask a friend to tell you what they think of your behaviour around your girlfriend. It can help you understand the full extent of your actions, as well as hers, by getting their perspective.

Avoid overreacting

It's ok to feel a bit jealous as long as you can channel it in a positive manner. Remember that having others flirt with your girlfriend is normal. Think of it as flattery for both of you. As long as she looks but only touches you, there's no harm in it.

Trust is important in any relationship, and it wil be better for both of you to avoid letting your insecurities destroy your trust. Show her the same respect that you want her to show you.

Manifesting Money

My friend, Peter Hagerty, runs a business called Genius Academy. This is 'cause he's a genius [smile] and he wants to help others realise their own genius. He linked me to a copy of a sound file or podcast that he made, that introduces listeners to the concept of manifesting money and success in their life.

I thought it was excellent, 'cause he uses real life examples on how manifestation works and has worked for him. You can find out more about how he can help you realise your own genius by going here, which is where you can find a copy of his podcast as well.

All the best with manifesting success into your life.