The secret to you

The Secret is a fantastic documentary about how the Law of Attraction works, and how you can make it work for you. Here's an excerpt about it from my old blog:

The Law of Attraction is a universal law, which you might also know as 'like attracts like'. Whatever is on your mind is what becomes a reality in your life. As was said in the show, "Thoughts... become... things..." The trick is to think of things you want, instead of the things you don't want.

Most people, however, focus on those things they don't want. You know what I'm talking about. They want more money to get out of debt, 'cause all they can think of is the debt they're in. They want a new car, because all they can think about is how horrible their current car is. They want a new job, because they hate their current job.

But the more they FEEL the things they don't want, the more they KEEP what they don't want. And they get more of it!

Why is that?

It's because the universe is giving you those things you are passionate about. Even the things you don't like create passion in you, and the more energy you put into the things you don't want, the more the universe will give it to you. It thinks that the more passionate you are about something, the more you want it.

When you are passionate about those things you want, rather than those things you don't want, and when you can FEEL them, that's when the universe will give it to you.

Now you can download The Secret To You, a visualisation tool that will help you "transform your life into happiness, prosperity, health, love and joy". It's only 16.8 Mb big, and when you play it, make sure you maximise the window size. You'll need the latest version of Quicktime.

How to stand out from other blogs

Lorelle wrote an article called Truths and Consequences of Blogs That Stand Out, which I'll use as the basis of this article (thanks Lorelle!)

If you want your blog to stand out from the rest of them, then there's a few things you need to take into account as you aim for that goal.

Looks count

Everything is about looks. We like to look pretty to make ourselves more attractive, and we are attracted to people and things that appeal to us. So the first thing that we need to take notice of with our blog is how it looks.

It has to be easy to read, without being too cluttered. If it's too 'busy' then people are going to get lost trying to find something interesting. It the design interferes with the ability to read it, people are going to move on.

Think about books. What makes them attractive? For a start, they're easy to read. Dark text on white background, and fonts that are easy for the eye to see. If there's any pictures, they don't interfere with the text and there's a decent amount of white space between the picture and text.
Navigation is important too. You have a blog that you want people to be able to get to other content that you think is important. How are they going to do that if you have no navigation features? Categorisation works wonders, helping your visitors see what kinds of content you have available, and allowing them to browse through your site according to the categories that they're interested in. Important Pages need to be stand out as well, and Popular Posts inspire visitors to hang out a bit longer and read what others find interesting.

Remember also that the website design should reflect the content. If you have content on mountain climbing, then a design that includes mountain views would be applicable. A photo blog would include photos in the design. General musings about life might have a design that reflects the theme of your life, or of how you want to present it.

Looks count, but they need to be appropriate to the content of the blog, otherwise people just aren't going to take it seriously.

Content is King

It doesn't matter how good your site looks, if you don't have good content, visitors aren't going to hang around for long.

Good content means good writing, spelling and grammar. However, that's still not important if what you write about or how you write it grabs the visitor's attention and holds it. Providing good quality information or entertainment are two very good reasons visitors will stay, and they might forgive a few spelling errors if the content is worth it.

If the content gives the visitor the information they're looking for, meets their interests, or challenges their thinking and motivates them, then they're likely to spend time there. If it's really good then they'll return time and again to find out what new content you've added.

The best quality blogs are those that focus their content on a particular topic or theme, rather than putting lots of different topics together on the same blog. Being a 'specialist' gains traffic and reputation, while talking about anything and everything doesn't help those visitors stay focused. If you're not focused on a particular topic, then your visitors aren't going to stay focused on you.

It's about traffic

A lot of people think that the more traffic you have, the better your blog is. Not true. Traffic is only important to the blog owner, as hardly any of the visitors to your blog are going to be aware of, or even care about, how much traffic you're getting. What makes your blog popular is not going to be the traffic, but the content and how people find the content.

Search engines, directories, links on other blog's blogrolls, and even placing comments on their blog. They all help bring you traffic. What's important though, is not how many links you have, but good your content is.

Your reputation will be enhanced by people finding your blog and then writing about it or linking to it. That increases traffic, but that's only because they think your blog is worth other people reading it. And that comes from having a good look and good content.

It's about convenience

Many websites offer incentives to sign up to their newsletters, or they don't have anything like that at all. Instead, you have to bookmark the site in your browser and come back to it every now and again to see if they've updated the content. These are static sites and they don't add a lot to the convenience of the visitor.

Non-static sites like blogs allow visitors to subscribe to RSS feeds, which delivers your content to them as soon as you publish it. Very convenient!

RSS Feeds allow visitors to automatically subscribe to your blog so that any new content you place there is sent to them, without them having to remember to come and visit it. On some blogs you can even subscribe to the feeds of various categories, so that the only content received is of those categories that you're interested in. Allowing this option for visitors to your blog will only increase the convenience of it for them.

Comments are another convenient feature of blogs, allowing visitors to agree or disagree with your content, or even to add or correct information that might be of use to you. Not only do comments increase the convenience for visitors to engage in interesting conversations about your content, but the convenience allows you to update your own content based on what you might learn, as well as to inspire your visitors to hang around longer because of the conversations they have with you.

Pings and trackbacks allow search engines and directories to be notified when you've updated your blog, allowing users of those sites to visit your blog whenever you update it. Trackback comments allows you and your visitors to see what others are writing about your content.

Your outstanding blog checklist

Again, from Lorelle's article, we have this checklist. Check your blog against it, and see if it meets the standard of an outstanding blog. Use what you learn to make any changes you might want, to help you achieve 'outstanding blog'.

1. Is it readable?
2. Is it easy to read?
3. Is it easy to navigate, leading the reader to other content from every page?
4. Does it offer content categories, helping direct readers to related subjects on your site or blog?
5. Does the design match the content?
6. Is the content consistent with a specific topic, theme, or subject?
7. Does the content showcase you as an expert, hobbyist, or vague curiosity seeker?
8. Is the content well written, spell and grammar checked, and encourage readers to read?
9. Does your blog’s design and content give people a reason to return?
10. How convenient is your site or blog to use?
11. Does it offer feeds?
12. Does it offer comments?
13. Does it offer trackbacks?

How to host your own community

A List Apart has this great article on how to host your own community. Following that link will give you more information about the below:

• Are you really ready to start a new community?
• Laying groundwork
• Get ready and send invitations
• It’s party time
• Be ready to improvise
• Keep your partygoers from leaving
• Don’t let things get out of hand
• Dealing with party crashers
• Enjoy your own party

I've been working with forums for quite a while now, and most of the suggestions are things I already have learnt to do from experience. None of my forums have gotten over 50 members though, so they've never been 'great forums'. But still, I've enjoyed doing them over the years.

If you have a forum of your own, or if you want to start your own community, I hope you'll get some value from the above information.

Use the Law of Attraction to find love

Have you ever noticed that when you want something, you start to see it wherever you look? If you want a particular new car, for example, you start seeing it more often. Until you started desiring it, you never even noticed it! This is the law of attraction: what we desire, we attract to ourselves.

Our thoughts create our reality, and the more we think of something, the more it becomes real in our lives.

The thing about the law of attraction is that it attracts to you exactly what you have on your mind. The problem is that most people have the wrong things on their mind. When you spend a great deal of your energy thinking about what you don't want, then the universe will respond by giving you exactly what you don't want. It thinks that if it's on your mind, then you actually want it! (By 'universe', I also mean God, Buddha, Allah... whatever is your ultimate higher power.)

You have to look at what you're actually saying in your head.

• "I don't deserve someone fantastic..."
• "No man's ever going to want me...."
• "I'm so ugly I'm just going to disgust any woman who looks at me..."
• "I'm not worth having a handsome man with me..."
• "I'm too shy...."

Change what you say!

• "I deserve someone fantastic..."
• "Every woman is going to want me..."
• "I'm so attractive, men are just going to throw themselves at me..."
• "I'm worth having a beautiful man with me..."
• "I'm super confident!"

When you start turning it around in your head, it gets turned around in your life.

You might not believe it, but if you start getting yourself into the mindset of saying those things to yourself on a daily basis, they are going to have an effect on you. You're going to start believing SOME of them, at least, and that's a great start.

The reason we don't get what we want from our life and relationships is because we're attracting the wrong things. We need to truly understand that to get what we want, we need to ask for what we want. We need to visualise what we want.

When all we ask for and all we see are the things we don't want, then that's all we'll continue seeing in our life.

Think of the car analogy. You'll see more of the car that you want when you really desire it. However, if you absolutely loathe a particular car, you're going to see that more often too!

What is in your mind and receives energy and emotion from you, is what's going to be in your life.

So to find love you really need to focus on the kind of person that you want to love and be loved by. You need to see them in your mind with you and you need to see them happy about being with you. You need to feel the emotions of what it would be like to be with the partner of your dreams.

It's important to understand what physical attributes, behaviours, values, beliefs and interests are important to you. Understanding them will allow you to focus on what you want in a relationship with someone, instead of what you don't want.

Many people go from one failed relationship to another without really thinking about why their relationships keep failing. Instead of looking at themselves and what they're attracting by what's on their mind, they blame other people, their past or the situations they get into.

But really, the reason the relationships keep failing is because people are always thinking about what they don't want, and so they end up creating it!

What they should be doing is thinking about what they DO want. Develop a very clear idea of what they want in a relationship, and they will start to get it.

There's a saying - 'there's no such thing as a perfect relationship'. Well, there is a perfect relationship, but it won't happen by searching for what you don't want. It'll only come by understanding what you DO want, and holding that in your mind.

An exercise in attracting the perfect relationship

On a piece of paper write down everything you want in your perfect relationship. What is he or she like? How do they talk, smell, look? What will you be doing together? How do you feel when you're around them?

You need to really get into this and write down every single detail. Let your imagination run wild. Refine it as necessary, but make sure it's not unrealistic. Keep it real, but keep it 'perfect'. Take as long as you need, as it's the key to your ultimate success.

Most people never write down what they want, and yet it's the single most important step to use the law of attraction in finding the perfect partner and perfect relationship.

You can also use this with everything that you want. Writing it down in great detail dramatically increases your chances of getting it. But make sure you go into every little detail about it, whatever it is.

And then, you need to do one more thing. Make sure you don't doubt yourself. Assume that there's nothing stopping you from getting what you really want. Not money, or looks, or time, or anything else.

You can have anything that you want. Just imagine...

By being extremely clear in your mind about what you want, you are helping the universe give it to you. Define it exactly, and you'll get it.

Here's another analogy for you, to help you understand how it works:

Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a hamburger. The waiter goes off with your order. Then you change your mind, and you change the order to a steak. They go to make it. Before the steak arrives, however, you change your mind again and order a salad. At this point, most waiters are likely to tell you to go make it yourself!

The universe, of course, won't tell you to go make it yourself, but you can probably see how difficult it would be for the universe to give you what you want if you don't even know what you want!

Going back to that exercise... make sure you write it down. Take the time to do it, it's very important!

Now that you're clear about what you really desire in a partner, take that bit of paper and fold it up. Carry it around with you for at least a week, in your pocket, purse, wallet or even in your underwear. It doesn't matter, as long as it's always with you. Every time you remember it, take it out and read it, and enjoy the feelings in your mind of what it would be like to be with this partner of your dreams.

Feel it!

And then make sure you do the following...

During this week that you carry it around with you, make sure you listen to your inner voice or your instincts. If it tells you to stop at the supermarket on the way home when you normally go to the corner store, then do it! You just might meet your perfect partner there.

What you've done is 'placed your order' with the universe, and now you need to make sure you watch out for the signs to tell you that your order is ready.

That's all there is to it. Remember, once you use this to get your perfect partner, use it for anything else that you want. The car, house, job, boat, holiday.... anything at all! Write it down, detail it in minute detail, and then carry it around with you.

Your imagination determines your life. Use it to create the life of your dreams.

Jealousy

What is jealousy?

Jealousy is an emotion based on insecurity, relating to the belief that a relationship isn't stable. This leads to fears of losing someone that's precious to you, or that she'll find someone better than you, and so on.

Degrees of jealousy

Cute
It's perfectly normal to have reservations about your girlfriend going to a strip bar with friends, or not enjoying how much they drool over some guy in a magazine. That kind of jealousy is harmless and normal.

Healthy
Expressing concern about your girlfriend going out with a bunch of guys is often just looking out for her wellbeing. She might even be insulted if you don't say anything. If you see her flirt with another guy it's quite ok to feel jealous and tell her it's inappropriate.

Obsessive
When aggression or violence become part of the jealousy, there's a big problem. The person who is obsessively jealous has very little tolerance, and any look at another man or woman is enough to set them off. They demand to know where he or she is at all times, or they won't let their partner go anywhere without them. Just the mention of another man or woman's name sends them off the deep end.

Sources of jealousy

Jealous behavior can come from past experience with partners who have cheated on them. And if you've had more than one partner cheat on you, it can cause you to be more possessive and controlling, to try and make sure they have no opportunity to cheat on you again.

There's also the possibility that it's you who has cheated on your partner, and because you can't even trust yourself, you might place the same feelings on them, believing they could cheat on you too, simply because you cheated on them. Your guilt tries to make sure they don't have the opportunity to do to you what you did to them.

However, most jealousy comes from a low self esteem and lack of confidence. You might feel you're not good enough for them, and so any interaction by them with someone of the opposite sex makes you feel that they could find someone better than you. Most guys or women might be better looking than you, and you feel threatened by that.

If you watch her interact with other guys, you might be worried that they'll 'steal' her from you. If you've been with him for only a short time, you might feel threatened by the close bond he has with his female friends, who he's known for much longer than you.

Jealousy is dangerous

Jealousy is quite bad for relationships because it destroys a very important component that holds it together - trust. To tell her she can't have lunch with a co-worker is the same as telling her you don't trust her. If you restrict them too much, they're going to wonder why they're with you. No one wants to be controlled or 'imprisoned'.

It also leads to more arguments and reduces any quality time you might have together. All you end up doing is focusing on each other's negatives.

On top of all that, you spend most of your time worrying about what they might be doing when you're not with them. When all you're thinking about is how they could be cheating on you, then that's all that becomes real for you. You start expecting them to cheat on you.

You need to control yourself

Here's a few ways to learn how to overcome your jealousy - before you lose control and do something you'll regret:

1. Learn from past experiences
   Look at how past relationships - and even your current relationship - has been affected by your behaviour. You might realise that your tantrums are the cause of the troubles, and that they actually haven't done anything wrong. Understand that getting upset or angry at them won't help the situation.
   
   
2. Deal with reality
   When you realise that it's your tantrums which have been the problem, you realise that it's all based on what you perceive to be happening, and what you fear is happening. You don't need to let your imagination dictate what kind of person she is. Treat her according to what she does, and not according to what goes on in your mind.
   
   
3. Respect yourself
   You have to understand she chose to be with you for a reason. There's no need for her to be tempted to go elsewhere - unless your actions start to drive her away. You need to avoid that by understanding that you deserve her, and she deserves you.
   
   
4. Get someone else's opinion
   Ask a friend to tell you what they think of your behaviour around your girlfriend. It can help you understand the full extent of your actions, as well as hers, by getting their perspective.

Avoid overreacting

It's ok to feel a bit jealous as long as you can channel it in a positive manner. Remember that having others flirt with your girlfriend is normal. Think of it as flattery for both of you. As long as she looks but only touches you, there's no harm in it.

Trust is important in any relationship, and it wil be better for both of you to avoid letting your insecurities destroy your trust. Show her the same respect that you want her to show you.

Manifesting Money

My friend, Peter Hagerty, runs a business called Genius Academy. This is 'cause he's a genius [smile] and he wants to help others realise their own genius. He linked me to a copy of a sound file or podcast that he made, that introduces listeners to the concept of manifesting money and success in their life.

I thought it was excellent, 'cause he uses real life examples on how manifestation works and has worked for him. You can find out more about how he can help you realise your own genius by going here, which is where you can find a copy of his podcast as well.

All the best with manifesting success into your life.

6 important qualities of a lasting relationship

By relationship, I mean two people coming together in love, choosing to spend their lives together as a couple, partners in crime, all that kind of thing.

In my 'life of research and practice', I've come to the conclusion that the most important qualities in a lasting relationship are:

• Hard work
• Commitment
• Honesty
• Openness
• Understanding
• Love

Hard work
In order to be successful with your career or your hobby, you have to put a lot of effort and hard work into it. If you don't do this then you'll lose interest and move onto something else. You get back from it what you put into it. If you don't have the interest - the passion - that drives you to put at least 100% into your relationship, then you're going to lose interest in it, just like with the hobby or career. Think about this in relation to your relationship. You'll get bored, look for 'other exciting things' to do. Your relationship will suffer, and sooner or later your partner is going to fire your arse for 'not working hard enough'.

Commitment
A lot of people misunderstand what this means. They think that commitment is about getting married, and being 'tied down'. Nope, not true. Commitment is about providing support to your partner, being with them through the good times and the bad times. It's about being the kind of person to them that you want them to be with you. You know you're going to have some rough times in life. No person is an island, and everyone needs someone to lean on at some time. If you aren't the kind of person that they can lean on, then they're not going to be the person that you can lean on, and before you know it you'll fall over

Honesty
Without honesty, there's no trust. And if there's no trust, there's nothing. If you can't be honest with the person you're with, then you're living a lie. Not only that, but they're with someone they don't really know! And when they find out who you really are, they're going to be madder than a bull with swords sticking out of it. Honesty opens up doors and allows for great communication between you. Honesty allows you to be who you really are, so that there's no surprises. It also fosters trust, which is essential for an ongoing relationship.

Openness
Openness goes hand in hand with honesty, leading to greater trust and appreciation from your partner. Express your feelings, and your desires, your disappointments and frustrations. Express your goals, your likes and dislikes, your expectations and your fears. Be open about everything, and you'll find your partner being open with you. It helps each of you understand who you are and what you both want, allowing you to align yourselves with what's important to you both.

Understanding
This is especially important. Not everything is about you, and if they are going through things that are emotional to them in some way, all they want is your understanding that they're going through something that's hard for them. This is where they want your commitment to them, providing them with the support that they need. You need - yes, need - to understand that they have a life that's separate to yours, that they experience things that you don't, and that they might often feel alone with what's affecting them.

Love
This is the glue that binds everything else. Love is what inspires you to be hard working, committed, honest, open and understanding. Love is absolutely necessary for everything else to work, and yet without anything else, there is no love.

All of the above are required for a lasting relationship between two people. The qualities work together to achieve success in a relationship, and without one or more of those qualities, the relationship will be difficult, with many challenges. Without any of the qualities, the relationship is doomed to failure.

• If you have everything except honesty, you have a relationship based on lies.
  
  
• If you have everything except hard work, then commitment will suffer, as you're saying it's not worth it.
  
  
• If you have everything except commitment, then understanding will suffer, as you're saying you're not interested in providing support.
  
  
• If you have everything except openness, then understanding will suffer as well, as you're saying you don't trust them with your feelings.
  
  
• If you have everything except understanding, then openness will suffer, as your lack of understanding will prevent them from being open about their feelings.
  
  
• If you have everything except love, then you don't have the glue that holds everything together. You have nothing.

Don't be a loser!

I was reading a dating/picking-up-girls website some time ago, and there was someone there writing a post about how to get a woman taking her top off when she joins you in a hot tub. He went through 4 different scenarios about what to do, how to do it, and why it should be done that way.

I thought, "Oh.My.God." That's all. It wasn't an exclamation of wonder and joy, as one would do when the light is lit and you see something you've never seen before.

No, it was an exclamation of shock that this person was giving instructions on what to do when a woman joins you in the hot tub. And what was even more shocking was that there were a whole bunch of replies to his post about what a good post it was, and how they appreciated the information.

Holy crap! These people are losers!
Let me explain why.

#1 - the woman gets into the hot tub with you. It's just her and you (with you being a guy, of course), and by default, it means she's interested in you and whatever might happen. You need instructions about what to do next??? Oh My God.

#2 - WHAT'S A WOMAN DOING IN A HOT TUB WITH YOU WITH HER CLOTHES ON?! That scared me just with that alone. No wonder the guy's got all these strategies for trying to get her to take her top off.

Here's the amazing secret I'm about to tell you. If a woman gets into a hot tub with you, just relax and enjoy yourself, and when she gets close enough and in the right position (where it's easy for you to take her top off), TAKE THE DAMN THING OFF FOR HER! She's not going to say no, and will be wondering what took you so long! (That's why she's maneuvered herself around for you to do that.)

Men worry too much about what to do. They complicate things. They make things more difficult than what they need to be. They ignore the signs, and as a result they screw things up for themselves.

It's simple, so here's a clue...

If she doesn't want to be with you, she'll let you know by not being with you. It means she's not attracted to you. Let it go and move on.

If she does want to be with you, she'll let you know by being with you. If she's with you, then she likes you. If she likes you, she'll want you to 'do things' to her. This includes fooling around, getting sexy, all that kind of stuff. One thing leads to another, you know what I mean. Just do to her what you would do if she was your girlfriend. This is how she BECOMES your girlfriend, but only by you making it happen through assumption, after reading the signs she's giving you.

Don't complicate things. Men think they need to be told, but really, the telling's in the body language. Read the signs, and go for it.

Don't be a loser.

(And remember, always be respectful, just in case you're reading the wrong signs. Be funny, charming, and sexy. And have fun.)

Values in relationships

Everyone has a hierarchy of values, from the things that are really important, all the way down to the things that don't matter. What's important and what doesn't matter changes according to the values of the individual.

Anything that supports your highest values is called 'good' and you are attracted to it in some way, while anything that challenges your highest values you call 'bad' and are repelled by. Our values determine how we conduct our relationships with people.

There are three types of relationships in this context, with each one having a different outcome.

• Selfish - this is where you focus only on your own values without considering your partner.
• Walking on eggshells - this is where you focus on your partner's values without considering your own.

Both of those relationships create tension, resulting in many difficulties.

• Caring - this is where you communicate your values in terms of theirs.

You think of both your side and your partner's side in the caring relationship, which expresses love for yourself and each other. Caring is knowing someone well enough to know their values and expressing your values in ways they can relate to.

When we're in a relationship, we often think the other person is supposed to be like us, and that's what brings us together. However, if any two people are exactly the same, one of them is unnecessary.

The purpose of a relationship is to help us learn to love those parts we've ignored or disowned. Each person has their own values, and no two people ever have the same. Each person expresses their love through their own values, and when we honour our partners values, we understand that we're surrounded by love in all kinds of ways that we didn't recognise.

If we accept the love that is in accordance with our partner's values, and understand that it doesn't need to be the same as our own, then we'll find love in places we never thought possible.

You only need the courage to start appreciating how other people express their values, and the desire to understand them. Once you do that, you'll have more fulfilling relationships, where you value each other's values and how they improve your own life.

Don't be a nice guy!

"Nice guys come last."

Why is that saying, so often denied by women, always so true? Women say they want a nice guy, but really, they don't. They often end up being with someone who treats them like a jerk, who doesn't respect them at all. And then they seek out the nice guy to complain about why they can't find a nice guy to be with!

Nice guys hear it all the time, and yet they remain single, constantly wondering: if women are looking for nice guys, why are they still single?

The problem is that nice guys come last because they're... nice! They aren't funny, confident or even mysterious. These qualities are what women find attractive. Nice guys are open, honest and caring. They give all of themselves in order to please women and 'be more attractive' to them. It doesn't work though. When you give everything to a woman, she has nothing to seek out for herself! There's no mystery, no attraction.

When a woman meets a man, straight away she, like men, gets a conscious idea of what 'category' that man will fit into her life. A man falls into the category of 'friend', 'romantic potential' or 'you've got to be kidding'! Once her decision is made, it's more than likely going to remain that way. No matter what a man does, he has been categorised.

Hey, men do it. So do women.

When men realise this, they then have the power of determining which category they want to be put into. If you want to be the woman's friend, then simply be the nice guy. If you want to be of romantic potential, then being the nice guy isn't going to work.

To a woman, romantic potential doesn't just include your appearance, although that can be helpful if you're good looking. It doesn't include how well you listen to her, or how much you care about her. To a woman, how funny, confident and mysterious you are means more than your appearance. If you can make a woman laugh and wonder about who you really are, then you become attractive to her.

This means that you can control attraction, simply by your actions. You are never a victim of circumstance, or of the whims of fickle women. It's easier than that! Their attraction to you is under your control!

So how do you control a woman's attraction to you?

Well, first of all, you have to decide if you want to be attractive to her. (Here's a little tip. If you start practicing making yourself attractive to all women, of all sizes, shapes and age, being attractive will become second nature to you. It will become something you are, rather than something you try to be.)

Be unpredictable and uncontrollable, challenging and dominant. These are qualities which women require in romantic potentials. Women don't want someone that bores them with predictability, who allows them to control him, who isn't a challenge, and who is a weak-minded wimp. Women want a man who KNOWS he's a man, and who's proud of it. Women want to be respected for being women, and they want to be able to respect a man for being a man.

Believe that you don't need to impress the woman you're talking to. There are so many women out there, what makes you think you need to impress this one? Don't try to impress her, just be yourself. But make sure that being yourself is also being funny. Make her laugh at your jokes. And make jokes about HER! Make jokes about the colour of her shoes, or the clothes she's wearing. Pretend you're wondering if she's going to a fancy dress party or something. Ask her what crazed fool thought that carrying that handbag would suit her - "...and just what have you got in there, the kitchen sink? It's HUGE!". You get the picture, I'm sure.

Be dominant. Be the one who is decisive about what you want and where you want to go. Always have a backup plan, and be prepared. This shows that you are capable of looking after her and her needs. Women need their men to be emotionally and mentally strong, able to take care of themselves and her. Women need to trust that you will be able to look after them, keep them happy and secure. That makes for romantic potential.

Be impressive to her by NOT IMPRESSING HER. Show her that you are having fun, and that you don't particularly care if she stays or goes, or if she likes you or not. Being yourself and making FUNNY jokes at her expense are a great way of SHOWING CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF.

You will be doing what no one else does, and that instantly makes you more attractive than the rest of them.

Now, this doesn't always work. But remember, IT DOESN'T MATTER. There ARE plenty of women out there, and if one of them doesn't like your sense of humour, that's their loss, not yours. If they don't like you making jokes about something they're wearing or doing, then they are the ones with the emotional problems about themselves. Anyone who can't laugh at themselves is not going to be fun to be with. (Naturally, make sure the jokes make sense and are relevant to whatever the joke is about. Only refer to something that stands out.)

Be sexual, but don't be crude. Compliment a woman sexually, and you'll show her that you're not a 'nice guy', but that you're a man who has 'romantic potential'.

Women have sex and think about their future with a man who has romantic potential. They don't have sex with the nice guys, the ones who are only their friends. They have sex with the guys who excite them, who challenge them, and who show the probability of romantic potential.

So if you want to only be friends with women, then be a nice guy. But if you want to have a woman excited to be with you, and looking forward to the next time she can be with you, then DON'T be a nice guy! Don't be a jerk either, but be someone who excites her, and who she can respect and admire.

Be strong but gentle. Be funny, not insecure. Be yourself, not someone that you THINK she wants you to be.

Be a challenge. Don't be a 'nice guy', as nice guys DO come last.