Use the Law of Attraction to find love

Have you ever noticed that when you want something, you start to see it wherever you look? If you want a particular new car, for example, you start seeing it more often. Until you started desiring it, you never even noticed it! This is the law of attraction: what we desire, we attract to ourselves.

Our thoughts create our reality, and the more we think of something, the more it becomes real in our lives.

The thing about the law of attraction is that it attracts to you exactly what you have on your mind. The problem is that most people have the wrong things on their mind. When you spend a great deal of your energy thinking about what you don't want, then the universe will respond by giving you exactly what you don't want. It thinks that if it's on your mind, then you actually want it! (By 'universe', I also mean God, Buddha, Allah... whatever is your ultimate higher power.)

You have to look at what you're actually saying in your head.

• "I don't deserve someone fantastic..."
• "No man's ever going to want me...."
• "I'm so ugly I'm just going to disgust any woman who looks at me..."
• "I'm not worth having a handsome man with me..."
• "I'm too shy...."

Change what you say!

• "I deserve someone fantastic..."
• "Every woman is going to want me..."
• "I'm so attractive, men are just going to throw themselves at me..."
• "I'm worth having a beautiful man with me..."
• "I'm super confident!"

When you start turning it around in your head, it gets turned around in your life.

You might not believe it, but if you start getting yourself into the mindset of saying those things to yourself on a daily basis, they are going to have an effect on you. You're going to start believing SOME of them, at least, and that's a great start.

The reason we don't get what we want from our life and relationships is because we're attracting the wrong things. We need to truly understand that to get what we want, we need to ask for what we want. We need to visualise what we want.

When all we ask for and all we see are the things we don't want, then that's all we'll continue seeing in our life.

Think of the car analogy. You'll see more of the car that you want when you really desire it. However, if you absolutely loathe a particular car, you're going to see that more often too!

What is in your mind and receives energy and emotion from you, is what's going to be in your life.

So to find love you really need to focus on the kind of person that you want to love and be loved by. You need to see them in your mind with you and you need to see them happy about being with you. You need to feel the emotions of what it would be like to be with the partner of your dreams.

It's important to understand what physical attributes, behaviours, values, beliefs and interests are important to you. Understanding them will allow you to focus on what you want in a relationship with someone, instead of what you don't want.

Many people go from one failed relationship to another without really thinking about why their relationships keep failing. Instead of looking at themselves and what they're attracting by what's on their mind, they blame other people, their past or the situations they get into.

But really, the reason the relationships keep failing is because people are always thinking about what they don't want, and so they end up creating it!

What they should be doing is thinking about what they DO want. Develop a very clear idea of what they want in a relationship, and they will start to get it.

There's a saying - 'there's no such thing as a perfect relationship'. Well, there is a perfect relationship, but it won't happen by searching for what you don't want. It'll only come by understanding what you DO want, and holding that in your mind.

An exercise in attracting the perfect relationship

On a piece of paper write down everything you want in your perfect relationship. What is he or she like? How do they talk, smell, look? What will you be doing together? How do you feel when you're around them?

You need to really get into this and write down every single detail. Let your imagination run wild. Refine it as necessary, but make sure it's not unrealistic. Keep it real, but keep it 'perfect'. Take as long as you need, as it's the key to your ultimate success.

Most people never write down what they want, and yet it's the single most important step to use the law of attraction in finding the perfect partner and perfect relationship.

You can also use this with everything that you want. Writing it down in great detail dramatically increases your chances of getting it. But make sure you go into every little detail about it, whatever it is.

And then, you need to do one more thing. Make sure you don't doubt yourself. Assume that there's nothing stopping you from getting what you really want. Not money, or looks, or time, or anything else.

You can have anything that you want. Just imagine...

By being extremely clear in your mind about what you want, you are helping the universe give it to you. Define it exactly, and you'll get it.

Here's another analogy for you, to help you understand how it works:

Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a hamburger. The waiter goes off with your order. Then you change your mind, and you change the order to a steak. They go to make it. Before the steak arrives, however, you change your mind again and order a salad. At this point, most waiters are likely to tell you to go make it yourself!

The universe, of course, won't tell you to go make it yourself, but you can probably see how difficult it would be for the universe to give you what you want if you don't even know what you want!

Going back to that exercise... make sure you write it down. Take the time to do it, it's very important!

Now that you're clear about what you really desire in a partner, take that bit of paper and fold it up. Carry it around with you for at least a week, in your pocket, purse, wallet or even in your underwear. It doesn't matter, as long as it's always with you. Every time you remember it, take it out and read it, and enjoy the feelings in your mind of what it would be like to be with this partner of your dreams.

Feel it!

And then make sure you do the following...

During this week that you carry it around with you, make sure you listen to your inner voice or your instincts. If it tells you to stop at the supermarket on the way home when you normally go to the corner store, then do it! You just might meet your perfect partner there.

What you've done is 'placed your order' with the universe, and now you need to make sure you watch out for the signs to tell you that your order is ready.

That's all there is to it. Remember, once you use this to get your perfect partner, use it for anything else that you want. The car, house, job, boat, holiday.... anything at all! Write it down, detail it in minute detail, and then carry it around with you.

Your imagination determines your life. Use it to create the life of your dreams.

Jealousy

What is jealousy?

Jealousy is an emotion based on insecurity, relating to the belief that a relationship isn't stable. This leads to fears of losing someone that's precious to you, or that she'll find someone better than you, and so on.

Degrees of jealousy

Cute
It's perfectly normal to have reservations about your girlfriend going to a strip bar with friends, or not enjoying how much they drool over some guy in a magazine. That kind of jealousy is harmless and normal.

Healthy
Expressing concern about your girlfriend going out with a bunch of guys is often just looking out for her wellbeing. She might even be insulted if you don't say anything. If you see her flirt with another guy it's quite ok to feel jealous and tell her it's inappropriate.

Obsessive
When aggression or violence become part of the jealousy, there's a big problem. The person who is obsessively jealous has very little tolerance, and any look at another man or woman is enough to set them off. They demand to know where he or she is at all times, or they won't let their partner go anywhere without them. Just the mention of another man or woman's name sends them off the deep end.

Sources of jealousy

Jealous behavior can come from past experience with partners who have cheated on them. And if you've had more than one partner cheat on you, it can cause you to be more possessive and controlling, to try and make sure they have no opportunity to cheat on you again.

There's also the possibility that it's you who has cheated on your partner, and because you can't even trust yourself, you might place the same feelings on them, believing they could cheat on you too, simply because you cheated on them. Your guilt tries to make sure they don't have the opportunity to do to you what you did to them.

However, most jealousy comes from a low self esteem and lack of confidence. You might feel you're not good enough for them, and so any interaction by them with someone of the opposite sex makes you feel that they could find someone better than you. Most guys or women might be better looking than you, and you feel threatened by that.

If you watch her interact with other guys, you might be worried that they'll 'steal' her from you. If you've been with him for only a short time, you might feel threatened by the close bond he has with his female friends, who he's known for much longer than you.

Jealousy is dangerous

Jealousy is quite bad for relationships because it destroys a very important component that holds it together - trust. To tell her she can't have lunch with a co-worker is the same as telling her you don't trust her. If you restrict them too much, they're going to wonder why they're with you. No one wants to be controlled or 'imprisoned'.

It also leads to more arguments and reduces any quality time you might have together. All you end up doing is focusing on each other's negatives.

On top of all that, you spend most of your time worrying about what they might be doing when you're not with them. When all you're thinking about is how they could be cheating on you, then that's all that becomes real for you. You start expecting them to cheat on you.

You need to control yourself

Here's a few ways to learn how to overcome your jealousy - before you lose control and do something you'll regret:

1. Learn from past experiences
   Look at how past relationships - and even your current relationship - has been affected by your behaviour. You might realise that your tantrums are the cause of the troubles, and that they actually haven't done anything wrong. Understand that getting upset or angry at them won't help the situation.
   
   
2. Deal with reality
   When you realise that it's your tantrums which have been the problem, you realise that it's all based on what you perceive to be happening, and what you fear is happening. You don't need to let your imagination dictate what kind of person she is. Treat her according to what she does, and not according to what goes on in your mind.
   
   
3. Respect yourself
   You have to understand she chose to be with you for a reason. There's no need for her to be tempted to go elsewhere - unless your actions start to drive her away. You need to avoid that by understanding that you deserve her, and she deserves you.
   
   
4. Get someone else's opinion
   Ask a friend to tell you what they think of your behaviour around your girlfriend. It can help you understand the full extent of your actions, as well as hers, by getting their perspective.

Avoid overreacting

It's ok to feel a bit jealous as long as you can channel it in a positive manner. Remember that having others flirt with your girlfriend is normal. Think of it as flattery for both of you. As long as she looks but only touches you, there's no harm in it.

Trust is important in any relationship, and it wil be better for both of you to avoid letting your insecurities destroy your trust. Show her the same respect that you want her to show you.

Manifesting Money

My friend, Peter Hagerty, runs a business called Genius Academy. This is 'cause he's a genius [smile] and he wants to help others realise their own genius. He linked me to a copy of a sound file or podcast that he made, that introduces listeners to the concept of manifesting money and success in their life.

I thought it was excellent, 'cause he uses real life examples on how manifestation works and has worked for him. You can find out more about how he can help you realise your own genius by going here, which is where you can find a copy of his podcast as well.

All the best with manifesting success into your life.

6 important qualities of a lasting relationship

By relationship, I mean two people coming together in love, choosing to spend their lives together as a couple, partners in crime, all that kind of thing.

In my 'life of research and practice', I've come to the conclusion that the most important qualities in a lasting relationship are:

• Hard work
• Commitment
• Honesty
• Openness
• Understanding
• Love

Hard work
In order to be successful with your career or your hobby, you have to put a lot of effort and hard work into it. If you don't do this then you'll lose interest and move onto something else. You get back from it what you put into it. If you don't have the interest - the passion - that drives you to put at least 100% into your relationship, then you're going to lose interest in it, just like with the hobby or career. Think about this in relation to your relationship. You'll get bored, look for 'other exciting things' to do. Your relationship will suffer, and sooner or later your partner is going to fire your arse for 'not working hard enough'.

Commitment
A lot of people misunderstand what this means. They think that commitment is about getting married, and being 'tied down'. Nope, not true. Commitment is about providing support to your partner, being with them through the good times and the bad times. It's about being the kind of person to them that you want them to be with you. You know you're going to have some rough times in life. No person is an island, and everyone needs someone to lean on at some time. If you aren't the kind of person that they can lean on, then they're not going to be the person that you can lean on, and before you know it you'll fall over

Honesty
Without honesty, there's no trust. And if there's no trust, there's nothing. If you can't be honest with the person you're with, then you're living a lie. Not only that, but they're with someone they don't really know! And when they find out who you really are, they're going to be madder than a bull with swords sticking out of it. Honesty opens up doors and allows for great communication between you. Honesty allows you to be who you really are, so that there's no surprises. It also fosters trust, which is essential for an ongoing relationship.

Openness
Openness goes hand in hand with honesty, leading to greater trust and appreciation from your partner. Express your feelings, and your desires, your disappointments and frustrations. Express your goals, your likes and dislikes, your expectations and your fears. Be open about everything, and you'll find your partner being open with you. It helps each of you understand who you are and what you both want, allowing you to align yourselves with what's important to you both.

Understanding
This is especially important. Not everything is about you, and if they are going through things that are emotional to them in some way, all they want is your understanding that they're going through something that's hard for them. This is where they want your commitment to them, providing them with the support that they need. You need - yes, need - to understand that they have a life that's separate to yours, that they experience things that you don't, and that they might often feel alone with what's affecting them.

Love
This is the glue that binds everything else. Love is what inspires you to be hard working, committed, honest, open and understanding. Love is absolutely necessary for everything else to work, and yet without anything else, there is no love.

All of the above are required for a lasting relationship between two people. The qualities work together to achieve success in a relationship, and without one or more of those qualities, the relationship will be difficult, with many challenges. Without any of the qualities, the relationship is doomed to failure.

• If you have everything except honesty, you have a relationship based on lies.
  
  
• If you have everything except hard work, then commitment will suffer, as you're saying it's not worth it.
  
  
• If you have everything except commitment, then understanding will suffer, as you're saying you're not interested in providing support.
  
  
• If you have everything except openness, then understanding will suffer as well, as you're saying you don't trust them with your feelings.
  
  
• If you have everything except understanding, then openness will suffer, as your lack of understanding will prevent them from being open about their feelings.
  
  
• If you have everything except love, then you don't have the glue that holds everything together. You have nothing.